Socially inept though I am, the furore surrounding the “Kony 2012” documentary has not escaped me. After watching the half hour documentary detailing the horrific and undeniably evil crimes that this man has no doubt committed, the die-hard cynic in me was still somewhat sceptical. Not because I do not believe that Kony is an evil man, he quite obviously is, and his status on the international criminal scene appears somewhat deserved. However, it was when I further (very briefly, as is my want) researched the organisation which made this documentary; “Invisible Children” that my doubts about its paragon status began to creep in. It was this picture in particular that distressed me:

The three men in the foreground are some of the makers of the “Kony 2012” documentary. The men in the background are apparently members of the UPDF (Ugandan People’s Defence Force.) The UPDF have been accused of some of the most horrific war crimes. In fact these crimes are very similar to those committed by Joseph Kony. This is the very same army that is being lobbied for by “Invisible Children.” Barack Obama has already sent 100 “armed advisors” to help the UPDF find Kony. Not only that but the organisation also refuses to have itself audited by outside organisations, meaning that we have no way of knowing where the donations received really end up. You can find their own disclosure of this information here: http://www.invisiblechildren.com/financials

It all smacks of another organisation that, whilst it would appear to be a bastion of good, is actually detrimental to people’s lives. The organisation of which I speak is called the “Missionaries of Charity.” You may know of it as the organisation which Mother Theresa set up, a woman who Christopher Hitchens hilariously labelled a “thieving Albanian dwarf” in reference to her taking of money from the Duvalier dictators in Hati, who in turn had taken it from their own people. Now, as an anti theist and an admirer of “The Hitch,” (though I do not support his advocacy of the Iraq war) I can be accused of bias and it’s true, I am, but in the case of Mother Theresa and her “Missionaries of Charity” and of any religious organisation in general, I believe I’m right. I am open to the possibility of being wrong but, like in the case of the bearded man in the sky, I haven’t seen any evidence for my being wrong. That organisation is against the very thing that lifts countries from poverty; giving women the ability to control the rate at which they have children otherwise known as “condoms and that.” I know, I’ll get letters and I’m getting side-tracked, but the “Missionaries of Charity” is just one example of an organisation that plays on people’s inherent desire to right wrongs in order to gain funds for activities that are not necessarily in the interests of those people which they people intend to support. Some of the most powerful evil has been committed by people with the best of intentions.

Whilst I’m not suggesting that raising awareness of particular issues such as this is not worthwhile. On the contrary I believe it is admirable, however, as a History student, one must always be aware of the many times in which the west has armed one side against another and the results have been detrimental to the people of those countries. Look at the whole Iraq /Iran debacle and the issues that have been raised by the Arab spring. NATO used to arm dictators in nations such as Libya and Egypt in the interests of “Anti-Terrorism” only to find themselves opposing these dictators when the people in those nations rose up and overthrew them. I’m not suggesting that you should not give money to “Invisible Children” you may do what you wish. I still don’t know the organisation well enough to decide if they are having a positive or negative impact and if you don’t either I will be holding off on donating until a time that such a thing can be established. I do feel like somewhat of a bastard for writing this, mainly because I’m bursting everyone’s feel-good bubble. I hope that my doubts are assuaged and this organisation does prove to do the good it sets out to do. It would be nice to think that we in the West can have a positive impact in the world. Also you may find a far better piece here: http://blog.foreignpolicy.com/posts/2012/03/07/guest_post_joseph_kony_is_not_in_uganda_and_other_complicated_things#.T1f

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These views are James’, if you agree or disagree feel free to comment below. Or email admin@bubbletoday.com if you would like to write an article. 

The story is simple enough. A boy, who may have Asperger’s, loses his father in 9/11 and a year later he finds a key amongst his father’s possessions in an envelope simply marked “Black”. Determined that this was left by his dad deliberately, the boy, Oskar (Thomas Horn), goes about New York seeking the lock that the key fits.

Anyone who has seen the trailer will agree that it looks like it’s going to be heartstrings-tugging, tear-jerking, let’s-all-have-a-group-hug sort of stuff. Certainly, that is what it thinks it is. It believes itself to be this powerful story of a boy who represents the soul of the city dealing with the horror of September 11^th and bringing people together in a story of healing. That would be fairly vacuous and underwhelming if it actually was a film along those lines, but it doesn’t even achieve that.

What it actually amounts to is the story of an incredibly irritating boy, running through New York being incredibly irritating, whilst Stephen Daldry uses the 9/11 card without producing any insight, meaning or genuine emotion in a film of over 2 hours in length.

Daldry seems to think that peoples’ trouble with the 9/11 factor is to do with some not being ready. Not so. United 93 is one of the greatest films I’ve ever seen: a powerful, docudrama-style retelling of the event which serves as a respectful memorial to those that died and a fitting tribute to the bravery of those on that flight. It was a film which met the stakes of invoking 9/11. Extremely Loud doesn’t come close.

Indeed, this is a film which uses the “falling man” as a key image, invoking one of the most heartbreaking and upsetting elements of that horrid event repeatedly, and it gets nothing real out of it. There is an attempt at closure using that image at the end, but it comes across as quite macabre. The film as a whole has the emotional heft of a bin liner.

At its heart (if heart is the right word) is the boy. The young actor, Thomas Horn, does a good enough job at playing the character of Oskar, but that character is throttle-worthy. Young Oskar’s inferred condition seems to be another moment of manipulation. He has been inconclusively tested for Asperger’s, explaining all of his various neuroses and habits without fully invoking the name of the condition. So, he has to have a bleedin’ tambourine with him at all times, and it rings throughout the entire film.

He is very precocious, and has been indulged by his late father (an excellent Tom Hanks), and one gets the sense that we are meant to indulge him too. However, he’s just a horrid little kid. Selfish, cruel and pathetic, you are unlikely to find a character in another film this year so badly in need of a good kick up the arse.

The boy is particularly beastly to his mother, who is brilliantly played by Sandra Bullock in an underwritten part, and speaking of underwritten parts, Max von Sydow has a terrific role here as a silent man, and there are great little appearances from Viola Davis, Jeffrey Wright and John Goodman. The ensemble performances are the real strong point in a film lacking in much that is commendable.

Von Sydow’s Oscar nomination is deserved, but the film’s appearance in the Best Picture category is nothing short of bizarre. It maintains a 100% record for Stephen Daldry – four features made, four Best Picture nominations. This is equally baffling. His last film, The Reader, was a faux important piece which used a highly emotive historical event as a key plot point to not great effect, but did feature a number of fine performances. That description fits Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close very well. Here’s hoping that he bucks the trend soon.

Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close is on general release, rated 12A (Contains infrequent strong language and discriminatory terms) and has a running time of 129m20s

Originally published on the Reel 6 blog

Jason Segel both wrote the original script and stars as Gary, brother to the orange and lovable Walter, a Muppet fanatic who leaves his home of Smalltown (yes, really) for the bright lights of LA and the irresistible pull of the Muppet Studios. But disaster strikes when big-time villain and part-time melodramatic-laugher Tex Richman (yes, really) has a very oily incentive for ruining our furry friends old haunt – destroying all that remains of the Muppet legacy forever.

If only there was a mildly predictable plan to save the day, that included reuniting the remaining Muppets and putting on one last show for old time’s sake! (Think Blues Brothers with puppets…) And, ladies and gentleman, we have ourselves a charming and somewhat self-deprecating plot.

We knew from Enchanted that professional pretty person Amy Adams could sing – when she’s not busy in this movie with her secondary jobs as a car mechanic, electrician and general day-saver. But Segel is a pleasant surprise, and comfortably carries the more challenging musical numbers – which are actually really good, and damn catchy.

This is not a film that wants to be taken seriously – breaking the fourth wall more times than you can shake a puppet at, but this is precisely what makes it so glorious. It’s perfectly well aware of its ridiculousness and revels in it – its pleasingly intelligent humour enchanting adults and children alike.

A plethora of celebrity cameos only adds to the undeniable glee of the entire venture, and you will surely find yourself bouncing in your seat throughout and smiling ear to ear. There’s even a moral too.

The Muppet movie it utterly delightful from start to finish, and had our entire party (we treated this as a major event) walking out the cinema just wanting to walk right back in again.

Five Stars.

An image from the 'University of Exeter Memes

This particular craze began back in October 2011 with ‘The FIU Meme Generators’ page for Florida International University of Miami, before spreading quickly to other Universities in numerous countries. Here in the UK, the growth has been truly astonishing, with pages that were founded less than a week ago having quickly reached thousands of fans. In a nutshell, these pages and their fans exploit previously created meme templates, the most prolific of which are known as ‘Advice Animals’ and ‘Rage Comics’, to create university-specific jokes. These easy to use formats, made easier by sites such as Meme Generator, have led to a deluge of such images across Facebook. The jokes are repeated, changed to suit a new audience, sometimes misunderstood and replicated incorrectly (much to the ire of those who have long been in on the joke), and generally in this messy fashion are introduced a whole new group of people… who then go on to also introduce their friends to them or create their own images for the pages, allowing the memes to be spread further and further across the Facebook community.

The 'O RLY?' Owl

Of course, these pages are simply highlighting and adapting memes that were already fairly widespread on Facebook and the Internet in general, and which were merely the latest in a ridiculously long list of memes dating back to the foundation of the Internet. These include everything from demotivational posters, to viral Youtube videos, to ludicrous Chuck Norris facts, to the ‘O RLY?’ owl, to ‘All Your Base Are Belong To Us’ and beyond. It goes without saying that this barely scratches the surface when it comes to Internet memes, but in essence these are just other forms of the jokes and fads that spread whenever a group of people gather, be it in the office, the playground, the Roman forums or whatever places that has hosted such gatherings since the dawn of civilization. And really, these are all just examples of what Dawkins was talking about: the proliferation and mutation of ideas through society, be they major lifestyles, a way of talking, or simply a crack at your universities fragile web portal.

TL;DR, just Google it.

Do 3rd years spend more time in the library than anywhere else?

I’m an undergraduate on the cusp of no longer being one; I’m about to be released into the big bad world, and I’m not sure I like it. When I was a fresher (she says, dreamily putting her bifocals to one side), third years were either the occasional object of unbridled lust, – from afar, naturally – slightly intimidating, or just a distant, almost mythical breed. I was aware they existed, but I didn’t really know who they were, or have anything to do with them. Now that I am one, I’m not entirely sure which category I fall into – though I have to say that my chances of being the object of unbridled lust are at an all time low, if only for the reason that I am now invariably at the library, or rocking back and forth in my living room, neither of which are the hottest pick-up joints in town.

It is at the library that I see all of my friends, acquaintances, past conquests, lecturers (I even saw a local man who works at my nearest Co-Op heading purposefully, though somewhat confusingly, towards Amory), and thus my entire university life has been re-located to a site of utter soul destroying boredom and aesthetic disasters – are the walls orange at the moment? Or is it sludge green? No-one knows, as they are too busy slowly slumping over their desks, refreshing Facebook on a loop, inhaling Yorkies from the vending machine and painstakingly reading the same page over and over again, until a self-induced home-time beckons (it’s only 3pm? I’ll just walk home very, very slowly then.)

At least we have several to choose from; there’s the aforementioned playing-mind-games-with-you-by-changing-the-colour-of-these-asylum-walls Main Library, then there’s the Law Library, rather like a nursery for grown-ups, as people shout across the room to each other with gay abandon, and shovel an array of food into their faces. Here, as everywhere, there are never enough seats, and good God, don’t get me started on the horrors I’ve encountered in the nearby toilets. Then there’s the Old Library, with its basements that you feel you may not emerge from alive and also a general vibe of working in an underground government agency (or maybe that’s just me?) It’s lucky that I have so much choice, because the library is swiftly becoming my second home. I find myself loaded down with essays, presentations and more seminar work than I ever thought was humanly possible.

You can definitely spot a third year. In the same way that a first year still has that look of unmitigated youthful joy (or maybe it’s still that look of glazed inebriation from rolling out of Arena several hours before and feeling absolutely fine, they’re young, they can recover!) Not a third year, aged before their time, often to be found clasping a pile of approximately eighteen books to their permanently palpitating chests (fired by the fear of failure), smiling, but dying a little inside with each new library receipt they crumple up and shove into their pockets. Everyone says, ‘We must catch up, when we’re…err, free…’ They trail off miserably, their eyes looking slightly bloodshot after staring at a computer screen for too long – they’ll never be free.

Now of course, sometimes people say they’re busy because they never want to see the person they’ve inadvertently and oh so erroneously run into again. But sometimes it really is because work takes over and a cycle of stress and all-nighters invades until, hang on, three weeks have passed? There are those occasional moments of sweet relief when you do go out and feel that rare, beautiful, Tequila infused, magical feeling of being alive. Being surrounded by hundreds of sweaty bodies. Dancing til your feet hurt. Doing circuits of a club and seeing everyone you know – they’ve somehow been miraculously transferred from the library by some higher power – and dragging them to the bar to do shots with you. Staggering home with your friends and discussing every last ounce of detail of the night, just because you can.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that bad, and it’s not all the time. It’s still a very charmed life, particularly when one starts contemplating getting that thing…erm, what’s it called? Oh yeah – a job! But please, savour the good times while they still flow in abundance, because, before you know it, you’ll join that desirable/intimidating/elusive (delete as applicable) brigade of third years, and then it’s just a short leap to listening to the Archers, actively participating during Countdown and muttering to yourself as you look for your misplaced walking stick. That sounds rather fun actually. Oh dear.

We all know that we’re heading into one of the worst job markets in recent times; pay is bad and competition is high, and your future seems to rest on a few short weeks of work experience. It’s hard to resist the overwhelming fear that threatens to clog the throat and moisten the palms. The idea of going back to the start, burrowing back into the comforting duvet of first year and returning to hours of daytime television and reckless nights out, is highly tempting.

Once we’ve returned our rented gowns and caps and recycled the empty champagne bottles, we’re expected to transform from slightly shabby students into competent professionals, entering our chosen field with grace and ease. On top of this, as we look towards our mid-twenties, phrases like “settling down” and “marriage” enter the vocabulary of our parents and their friends –a concept equal in terror to that of a pension.

Whilst it may feel like we’re being brutally elbowed out of the comforting warmth of university into the harsh reality of “real life”, we can look for a glimmer of hope and comfort. Yes, employment rates are bleak, but with a degree from a good university, we have a pretty decent starting point, and a fighting chance of staying off the dole.

As well as this, leaving education for the first time gives us the opportunity to achieve what we have been studying for our whole lives. All of those childhood dreams and adolescent whims are now tangible realities, and we have the chance to fill in the blanks for ourselves. It’s a prospect that is petrifying, but undeniably exciting; this may be the end of university, but it’s the beginning of everything else.

Did the wikipedia blackout affect you?

Wikipedia is not alone either: other influential sites like Craigslist and even Google are joining the throng to protest the introduction of new legislation to the American congress intended to combat online media piracy. And since Wikipedia has more daily visitors than the populations of London and Beijing combined, when they make a fuss, people do tend to listen.

The blackout and protests have stemmed from Washington’s growing attempts to control and censor both the information and sites allowed to exist on the Internet, all in an effort to protect the entertainment industry. Private corporations want to be able to shut down illegal download sites, hosting sites, video and music sites and even social media – not even limited to those based within the US. The legislation would give the government power to make US internet providers block certain domain names, sue sites and forums to ensure offending links are removed, and bankrupt websites by ordering the cancellation of US advertising.

Whilst the intent behind the bill is to slow and ultimately prevent the spread of pirated materials, its actual repercussions are very different, and potentially damaging not only to the US, but the world at large. The wording of the legislation is ambiguous enough to endanger the freedom, safety and diversity of the Internet as we know it. Sites such as YouTube, Tumblr, Twitter, LastFM, Flickr and even Facebook- indeed, anywhere where people express themselves or make their views heard which also happens to contain copyrighted video clips, images or music files – could potentially be in danger.

Amid general eye-rolling and jokes that proclaim ‘if you heard it on Wikipedia, that automatically qualifies it as false’ the fact of the matter is thousands of people dedicate time, money and effort to keep such influential and pivotal sites running. Especially in the case of the digital fountain of knowledge that is Wikipedia, that so many have come to take for granted – precisely the point intended to hit painfully home by this blackout.

We all use it, we all love it, but we don’t necessarily always appreciate it. Imagine a world where one must trawl five hundred pages of French literature two hours before a deadline, when all you need is a reliable summary. Or some interesting trivia on that actor you saw somewhere but can’t for the life of you remember where you recognise him from. Yes, there are other sites and other sources of information: but for many of us, Wikipedia is first port of call. And how many other names have had the same prestigious privilege as “facebook” and “google” and been verbed within everyday conversation?

Yet these matters are not merely trivial. The Internet is one of the most robust and liberating sources of news and information: it has both started and finished revolutions, overthrown governments and super-injunctions and wrongly-mourned more celebrities than you can shake a tweet at.

The internet celebrates freedom of expression and freedom of speech across the globe in a way barely imaginable twenty or even ten years ago, connecting people and their ideas across countries and continents, despite one’s isolation or experiences. Potentially bankrupting new websites and censoring social media hardly seems conducive to nurturing the expansion of such a key and innovative tool in this modern age.

However, internet piracy is widespread: supporters of the bill include such influential names as media-mogul Rupert Murdoch and Chris Dodd, chairman and CEO of the Motion Picture Association of America, who claim that the bill will protect American jobs and prevent foreign sources from bankrupting domestic companies – even the entertainment industry as a whole. Copyright holders already have the power to remove specific offending items such as individual videos, but the proposition claim this bill will secure powers to protect victims of piracy with far more force.

But at what cost? Whilst many may not agree with illegal distribution of copyrighted material, surely the danger to the US Hollywood industry is minimal compared with the potential risks the bill poses to freedom of information? Hollywood hasn’t been that crippled in all the time Internet piracy has existed, seeing as multi-million dollar movies are still churned out on a weekly basis. Similarly with music: many have claimed that if a copy of an artist’s single is shared, people may indeed be more likely to purchase the entire album. Indeed, Itunes sales continue to grow, with total downloads surpassing the ten billion mark. People are not unwilling to pay for music and see movies, especially when they know the quality and experience is so much better legally.

But the availability and spread of knowledge – however that may be – can only be a good thing, especially in countries such as China and Syria where censorship is one of the highest hurdles facing the spread of new ideas and accurate reporting. America’s actions set a dangerous precedent for other countries to do the same, or even worse – especially those with histories of smothering free expression. Even if the US administration does not abuse the new powers it may gain, the other countries that may follow in their footsteps may not be so understanding or willing to support a free Internet.

SOPA has received opposition from the White House itself, and since yesterday’s Wikipedia-wide blackout, they came a shock announcement that three sponsors of the SOPA and PIPA antipiracy bills have publicly withdrawn their support, including Senator Marco Rubio (R-FL) and House Representatives Lee Terry (R-NE) and Ben Quayle (R-AZ). But whilst this is a victory for the opposition to the bill, it is only a matter of time before the cogs may start turning again, and with far more ferocity.

The introduction of the bill itself will not stop piracy; if people are stopped from downloading music or media in one way, they will simply find another – and probably not as safely as the current methods. The proposed SOPA and PIPA legislation could potentially turn the Internet into a medium barely recognizable from the haven of free information an expression we see today, These proposed limitations threaten its efficiency and security, and by meddling with the inner-workings of the net, could throw open doors for greater and even more damaging changes further down the line.

TV Series (Drama) – Homeland

Actor in a TV Series (Drama) – Kelsey Grammar, Boss

Actress in a TV Series (Drama) – Claire Danes, Homeland

TV Series (Comedy) – Modern Family

Actor in a TV Series (Comedy) – Matt Le Blanc, Episodes

Actress in a TV Series (Comedy) – Laura Dern, Enlightened

Best Mini Series or Motion Picture Made for TV – Downton Abbey

Best Performance by an Actor in a Mini Series or Motion Picture Made for TV – Idris Elba, Luther

Best Performance by an Actress in a Mini Series or Motion Picture Made for TV – Kate Winslet, Mildred Pierce

Best Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for TV – Peter Dinklage, Game of Thrones

Best Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for TV – Jessica Lange, American Horror Story

Motion Picture (Drama) – The Descendants

Actor in a Motion Picture (Drama) – George Clooney, The Descendants

Actress in a Motion Picture (Drama) – Meryl Streep, The Iron Lady

Motion Picture (Comedy) – The Artist

Actor in a Motion Picture (Comedy) – Jean Dujardian, the Artist

Actress in a Motion Picture (Comedy) – Michelle Williams, My Week with Marilyn

Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture – Christopher Plummer, Beginners

Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture – Octavia Spencer, The Help

Best Director – Martin Scorcese, Hugo

04:03 am – Rant over now. The Golden Globes went as expected and if you stayed up to watch them like me (now that it’s Monday morning and I have work in 5 hours) – we were duped once more in the hope of entertainment. Maybe next year. Good wins for Britain in TV once more, strong performances by the Descendants and The Artist and a ‘suprise’ shock in the form of Scorcese for Best Director. Thank you all for following. Now, let’s all slump to bed and hope the Oscars are much, much better. Good night.

03:59 – To take greater issue on the host front, Gervais had in total 12 minutes out of a 3 hours broadcast. Billy Crystal’s opening set for the Oscars will be at least that. It’s not fair on Gervais how this has ended up. He was called ‘the host’ yet he never hosted. He could never speak with his audience, and never get involved. His joke was toothless and pre-scripted. Also, his time was limited to seconds. As Stephen has suggested, is there a need for a host? The thing is – there needs to be a host but they must be allowed to host. The show lacked a backbone this year and often seemed like one award after another rather than a celebration of talent. Overall, a poor show from the producers this year.

03:55 – Okay – Best Movie Drama – The Descendants. They’ve been told to hurry, so, I guess so am I! Music’s just constantly playing now.  Even Gervais’ final piece has music. Lord, who organised this? Why was Ricky there? Seriously.

03:48 – Time for Best Actor now – George wins. I really should put more effort into making my readers more enthused. However,at this end of proceedings, us UK viewers begin to struggle. Nevertheless, Clooney keeps us interested with a charming speech and a nice line on Fassbender’s ability to “play golf with his hands behind his back”. All the actors this year have done great work but the energy seems to be behind Clooney this year – it’ll be interesting to see whether Dujardian can pip him to the post, but I’m afraid for interest like that, we must look to the BAFTA’s next month.

03:40 – If the Artist doesn’t win, I shall eat several of my hats. Shockingly, I don’t have to. The charming French number wins again. The Golden Globes removes the excitement of the fight to the death – as the two favourite each get a category to play with. V. emotional speech on how the producer’s father could not make it for his award 30 years ago. Touching

03:35 – Meryl Streep is the winner of her portrayal of Maggie in the Iron Lady. Another standing ovation and applause. She applauds and recognise the efforts of the other 5. Then another 5. And many more. Also, nice reference of Harvey Weinstein to God “old testament version”. Music yet? Oh there it is! Getting louder. And we’re done.

03:32 – Queen Latifah gets to talk about The Help – hmmm. Fair enough. Oh and Ricky’s back – making jokes on the “evil Colin Firth”. Firth charming as ever lines up the nominations for Best Actress.

03:28 – Only 4 more categories. We’re getting to the good stuff people!

03:25 – It goes to RYAN…no it’s Jean Dujardin. And rightly so (I presume). He’s great fun in the OSS series if you’re interested. Again, charming and fun speech where I fear some of the audience are laughing at him rather than with (mainly because he’s European). Also finishes with the best line – silence!

03:25 – Time for Best Actor in Musical/Comedy – hmmm… who will win this?

03:18 – YES! And Modern Family delivers the biggest laughs with a dual language acceptance speech.

03:16 – Ricky’s back – bringing his appearance count to 4 – it’s a race to finish line between the music and Ricky for most appearances. Now for Best TV series – Comedy or Musical presented by Antonio Banderas and Salma Hayek. Come on Modern Family!

03:14 – Sorry – went for toilet and tea there (not at the same time) – and we’re back with a bang (of sorts)! Best Director – hotly tipped for The Artist, Scorcese sneaks it for Hugo. A standing ovation ensues and rightly so. One of the best films of 2011 – heart felt, exciting and makes you realise why you loved film in the first place. Oh this is good news. Also, something that didn’t go to plan – finally…

03:03 – A grand standing ovation for Shawshank actor. The man has practised this speech. And it’s damn good. He makes you realise why you loved film in the first place. Great acting in great films. Funny, soulful and charming. Bravo to him. Oh I wish he’d stay longer…

03:00 – Shawshank, Invictus, Glory, Se7en and Unforgiven  - man, he’s had a great career. This is the touch of class sorely missing from tonight’s proceedings. This montage truly shows off Freeman’s great credentials. A toast to the great actor!

02:58 – Helen Mirren’s here now and apparently been on the wine. Oh boy, it’s hit home and hard. Mirren complains about her lack of involvement in the great man’s films. Time for a montage!

02:53 – Short film for The Descendants there. Now here’s some class Sidney Poitier for the CecilB. Demille award for Morgan Freeman – receives a very well deserved standing ovation. The slow speaking Poitier lists Freeman’s numerous achievements calling him a “prince in his profession”.

02:51 – To summrise, Homeland’s done well bagging two, The Artist has the best score but the big gongs are yet to come so expect more heading their way later on. Seth Rogen wins best moment for a humourous joke. Woody’s won for Midnight in Paris and Mr. Plummer got Best Supporting Actor for Beginners. Overall, no major shocks and everything is as it should be.

02:47 – Best Supporting Actress now – it’s  Octavia Spencer from The Help. Long walk to get to the stage though. She looks properly humbled – moments like this make you realise actors are real people. However, are these moments enough to walk 2 hours of warm up with 3 hours of ‘drudge’ – you be the judge…

02:43 – Tina Fey and Jane Lynch now. Save us! They’re funny. Nope – they can’t even save us. Matt Le Blanc wins Actor TV Series Drama/Comedy. Niggling fear on this one that this is a sympathy vote to make up for the last years since Friends ended in 2004. Episodes just tried too hard and didn’t work but hey, good on Mr. Le Blanc

02:37 – Count 5 for the music. Seriously, this game is addictive.

02:34 – Best Actress in a TV drama now – Hoffman’s here to give the award – looks and seems to feel pretty rough. Poor guy. Clare Danes wins for Homeland. Good night so far for Homeland. I guess I’m happy for Danes – she was good in Romeo & Juliet! Just ignore the years in between and we are all good to go.

02:32 – It’s a damn good film and already in the top ten of IMDB. The irony is that half the audience have not seen this brilliant film. Deep, tough and very moving. Please do check it out. Another interesting fact – the unknowns provide the best speeches. Makes subtle and nice point on his people. Well played. Brownie point for you sir.

02:30 – He’s back! Oh good ol’ Elton = queen joke. Boy, this is painful as he makes a joke about her being a virgin…Madonna retaliates with “If I’m a virgin, why don’t you do something about it?” and “I haven’t kissed a girl in a while”. Now for Best Foreign Language Film – it goes for A Seperation

02:29 – Taking bets we Ricky on after this break…

02:26 – Where the hell is Mr. Gervais? He must be napping…

02:23 – And now for something completely different. Singing! Anyway, Jessica Lange wins for Best Supporting Actress in a TV series - I dropped the ball on this one. Sorry. Most of us are already asleep, hell, I bet most of them are. But hey it’s the GOLDEN GLOBES! Yay…

02:21 – Now for Clive Owen and Nicole Kidman. I like them. God, who gave them sedatives before their intro? Time for Best Screenplay – can’t judge this one. Oh wait, yes I can. Woody Allen in Midnight in Paris. Allen’s not there and Kidman signs off with a weird alluring end note. Lord.

02:14 – Finally got one right. But it’s pretty impossible to get that one wrong. Cars 2 was rubbish and Rango was too oddball to win. Here’s to Brave in 2012. Boy, this is the just one massive pat on the back for the industry – and it’s more like a slimy old finger pointing at you rather than a hearty handshake. Yeah, the metaphors didn’t improve. Hey, bear with me. Also sorry about the constant refreshing to see my HILARIOUS words but, I’m really grateful if you’re still reading.

02:12 – Introduction by Clooney for Moneyball (only fair Pitt did Ides of March earlier) – all the same – why does Clooney have a cane? No, the main point is – go see Moneyball. It’s great. Time for Best Animated Film – money’s on TinTin.

02:07 – As my good friend Stephen says – MISSING: Ricky Gervais. Anyway, Peter Dinklage has won for Game of Thrones as Best Supporting Actor in a TV series. Okay, here’s the music again! I think that makes the count to 4. Boy this really is a dazzling evening…

02:05: Also yes, My Week With Marilyn – a comedy? Well said Mr. Rogen. You get two points.

02:00 The strange combinations continue! But huzzah actual humour! Seth “Trying to conceal a huge erection”  Rogen when speaking of Kate Beckingsale. Finally, we’ve got something to cling onto! OH and yes, Michelle Williams has won for My Week in Marilyn. Yes, you are very shocked. All the same, she deserves it.

01:58: Best Actor in a TV Mini Series – Idris Elba in Luther - bringing the real cockney here – short and sweet – excellent work. 3 Brits now – bringing it home! Oh no wait – he’s going on again – play the music! Anyway, there were four Brits in that category – pretty sure we were going to do quite well there.

01:53 – Okay… I don’t really know what happened there. Out came a ‘Golden Globe representative’ professing peace to the world etc. Nothing wrong with the ideal but yeah…carry on.

01:48 – Best Original Song now – no Disney/musical this year so it’s up to the films who played ‘the Best Song’ over the credits. W.E. – Masterpiece by Madonna – wins. Racking them up now – Evita and now this. Next, the Oscars? No.

01:46 – Wow The Artist wins – might have thought the press would have been sympathetic for Ol’ man Williams. Nevertheless, it’s not an injust win so all’s fair. Very nice little speech from the Frenchman – very sweet but there’s no time for sentiment in Hollywood! Play the music!

01:44 – Oh good – spontaneous comedy! Jimmy Fallon – so very funny… It’s just really awkward to try and do musical comedy in less than 10 seconds. Onto best original score hence why Adam Levine’s been dragged along

01:39 – Second use of the music – hope you’re keeping a tally boys and girls (who am I kidding? Nobody’s reading this!)

01:38 – Homeland gets it! Not surprised or disappointed – just always have a soft spot for Boardwalk – but hey, it’s a new idea so glad to see it rewarded. Eloquent speech from the producer by the by.

01:37 – Now for Best TV Series Drama – come on Boardwalk…

01:34 – Ricky’s back. Joking about the speech length – nice line with “I know that God and my agent have the exact same influence on my career”. Now onto Best Actor in a TV Series (Drama) – Kelsey Grammar wins for Boss. 

01:31 – Jeremy Irons with the President of the HFPA is on to say thank you. Fair enough. Now it’s Jake Gyllenhaal to talk about My Week with Marilyn. Fascinating stuff…

01:27 – Time for Freda Pinto to introduce one of the nominated films: Midnight In Paris – very good film with Allen finding his voice again – it won’t win anything but heck, buy it when it comes out on DVD.

01:24 – The Brits are definitely coming now. Downton and now Kate Winslet has won for Best Actress for Mildred Pierce. We’ve won 2 out of 3 – clean sweep? YES! He we are – the music – Ms. Winslet – you win the honour of the first music being played!

01:22 – Huzzah. The Brits have won at least one thing. That’ll give the news studios something to cling onto for the morning breakfast news shows. Also, my nan will be pleased. Now for Best Actress in a TV Mini-Series or TV Movie.

01:21 – Now onto to Best Mini-Series or TV movie from Rob Lowe and Juliette Moore – come on Britain!

01:19 – Quick shout out to Stephen O’Nion, who 99% is unlikely to be reading this blog but has provided me with a link so that I can still keep up this self indulgent charade! Thanks Stephen!

01:16 – Nice name dropping of Frank Capra there as well.

01:13 – Oh goody – Ashton Kutcher presenting Best Actress for TV Actress in Comedy mini-series. Laura Dern is the winner for Enlightened – Am afraid never seen it but good for her all the same. Seems very pleased so winners all around.

01:09: First award here now – Best Supporting Actor – Mila Kunis and a rather dragged up Gerard Butler – announce the winner! Hurray – it’s Christopher Plummer for Beginners. Very nice to see and very well deserved. Humble and happy speech from the lovely gent. More of the same please.

01:02 – Start as you mean to go on: Gervais “Golden Globes are to the Oscars what Kim Kardashian is to Kate Middleton” – lovely work.

00:58 – The red carpet is empty. It’s showtime!

00:53 – We’re just over 5 minutes away. Here’s to a great opening speech from Gervais – full of content that I can blog about. Got any predictions? Leave them in the comment box below.

00:50 – The cameraman has lost it now. Currently swaying from side to side as if on the Titanic. It’s like it’s in 3D! Coming to cinemas Summer 2012. Side note: there really is no need to make Titanic 3D but that’s for a different day.

00:41 – There’s quite a queue of people now trying to get in as the show gets under way in less than 15 minutes. Huzzah.

00:39 – Yay! Emma Stone! That’s it on that one! I’m just glad she’s here. Makes my life better.

00:35 – Lea Michele looks ravishing/bewildering. It’s a bold choice of dress – with influence I feel from Uma Thurman’s portrayal of Poison Ivy in Joel Schumacher’s 1997 Batman & Robin. The photographers are lapping it up. I really hope the ceremony starts soon. I can’t keep up with all these dresses

00:31 – Nicole Kidman looks so tall she could practically eat Karl Urban. That’s not a criticism, just an interesting scenario to envisage.

00:27 – The funny fact that when Antonio Banderas and Pedro Almodovar arrive on the carpet, the only two photographers interested are Spanish. Yet when the Streep mobile rolls in – they’re back on it like flies on honey. The metaphors will improve as the night goes on.

00:22 – A lot of fuss over Ms. Theron this evening. I will admit she is setting my pulse alive – or that may be the 6 ProPlus I have just taken to keep me awake for the main ceremony. I’d like to think it’s her though.

00:18 – The main attraction is here – at least for the press. Mr. Pitt and Ms. Jolie have arrived. Pitt’s sporting his long locks for the current filming of World War Z and Jolie’s dress seems to have been murdered with a red lip going along the top of her silk dress. Look at me now ma! I’m a fashion critic.

00:13 – It seems due to the small amount of visitors this site can take – we’re only little guys! – it seems the server can’t take all my amusing and informative (cough) insights into the globes. Keep refreshing and stay with me! I’ll be alone otherwise…

00:12 – Yay Salma Hayek! She’s always pretty. As an adolescent teen watching From Dusk Til Dawn – I felt like I skipped many steps of puberty that night. Wish she do more films other than Puss in Boots.

00:07 – He’s entirely bald. Another man who’s lost a lot of person is Jonah Hill. Looking very slim line in a gorgeous tux. To be honest, any man can look good in a suit. Especially a $600 dollar suit.

00:06 – There’s good representation of British talent tonight with Downton Abbey and The Hour up for Best Mini Series – here’s hoping Fellowes can make it two for two in recent years. Good fact here – my nan met Mr. Fellowes in the Dorchester branch of Waitrose – her impression of him “he doesn’t have much hair, does he?”

00:00 – Currently watching MSNBC’s coverage of the Red Carpet (comes without the OTT commentary) – the cameraman is either drunk or the producer is incredibly indecisive. Either way, certainly enlivens the whole experience.

23:56pm – George Clooney say he thinks he’ll be a “pretty big loser tonight” as he arrives on the red carpet. His aim for the night is end up “face down drunk” – well played.

23:55 pm – The link would help I feel - http://yfrog.com/esibygwj

23:09pm WELCOME! I’ll be your host for this evening – David – and I’ll be here with you until the curtains close at the early hours of 4am. There’s a lot of categories to get through so bear with me as I try and keep up in the make up and visual effects categories. Buckle up, it’s going to be a fun ride.

The emphasis is largely on the notion of making British film more lucrative than it is now, by appealing to broader international markets (i.e. America) and trying to maximise profits by investment in the aforementioned “commercially promising” projects. The rhetoric has been brief and undetailed so far, but the tone is troubling. It comes across as ill-informed nonsense. Whilst I have sympathy with the idea that so-called mainstream projects should get a higher proportion of public funding than they presently do, there are many issues with these ideas.

Firstly, as has been widely said, you cannot predict which films are going to be successful. The two most successful British films of recent years, Slumdog Millionaireand The King’s Speech, were not ideas which seemed “commercially promising” until very late on in their lives. Who would  have thought that millions would see films about the slums of Mumbai, or a man’s struggle with his stutter? Famously, the former lost its American distributor a matter of months before it won the Best Picture Oscar.

Secondly, given that you cannot make these predictions, if you are looking for potential commercial successes, you are more than likely to go for safe-bet ideas, which generally translate to the inane, the dull and the forgettable. If one looks at the most bankable films made in Hollywood, the Transformers and Pirates of the Caribbeans of this world, they are often (but not always) unremarkable. Distressingly frequently they are dumb, lowest common denominator and generate repetitive sequels. Are these the characteristics we want for the British film industry?

Finally, the philosophy behind these ideas is deeply distressing. The idea that art and culture should only be there if there is an appropriately sized audience for it, is unacceptable. Such a notion serves to create a narrow and homogenous culture, increasingly devoid of variety and vivacity, based not on the tastes of many groups but on the single perceived group of the “many”. This is undesirable, particularly as there is a vibrant and successful film industry in Britain. Based on its good track record, the Prime Minister could be well-advised to leave it to run itself.

Shirin Ebadi – the founder of Defenders of Human Rights Center in Iran, an exile, the first female judge in Iran and and the first Muslim women winnerof a  Nobel Peace Prize.

Ebadi is known internationally as a human rights activist and a campaigner.

On Tuesday 10 October, she visited the University of Exeter to talk about the present situation in Iran and the Arab movement.

Xpression FM News reporter Usman Butt was able to interview the Iranian.

Hear the interview below:

For more Xpression FM news interviews/features visit www.xpressionfm.com